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Prayers for Ashley's dad
#1
Some of you may recall that my wife's father had a stroke a little over a year ago. Since that time, he has not been willing to do any speech therapy and has refused to take his meds. About 2 weeks ago, he was fired from his job after not showing up for several days w/o calling. He wouldn't really talk to Ashley about this. Last night, she got a text from her brother saying he hadn't talked to their dad since last weekend and wasn't answering any of his calls.

Ashley tried calling him several times and there was no answer. I suggested we go to his house and make sure he was ok. She was hesitant about this, mostly because she was scared of what we might find. Those of you who have been on here a while may remember that my wife and her mom discovered their aunt/sister dead in her home the week we got married and that has been something they will never forget/get over. I told her I would go myself if she wanted to and she relented and agreed that we should check on him.

There was no answer to our pounding on his door so I decided to go ask one of his neighbors if they'd seen his car move recently. Ashley went around the back of the house while I was doing this and came back screaming that she could see a pair of legs through the window on the back door. She called 911 while I was asking the neighbor whether we were on North or South 14th St. I then decided to break through the front door to verify if he was dead or alive. I got inside and he was conscious, but barely. I told him an ambulance was coming and went back outside, knowing there was nothing I could really do to help him myself.

Police and ambulance showed up after about 15 minutes and they had to strap him to a backboard and take him to the ambulance. His blood sugar levels were in the 300s (normal is under 100 I believe,) his pulse and blood pressure were all elevated. He was taken to the ER and then moved to the cardiovascular ward late last night. We went back this morning and saw him and he was able to talk and the speech pathologist was able to get him to swallow some water/ice chips and applesauce.

We're really not sure what will happen next; it seems clear to us that he cannot live on his own and the nurse said they wouldn't discharge him until they know he has a safe environment to go to. We can't afford any type of nursing home and neither can he or any of his family. I think we're going to try calling the VA tomorrow to see what kind of benefits he might be eligible for as a veteran and go from there. Neither of us can afford to take off work to care for him, we're making ends meet as is but cannot do so w/ only one person working FT. The doctors said last night that if we'd waited any longer to check on him he probably wouldn't have made it. I really don't know what is going to happen and I hate that feeling.

We'd certainly appreciate your thoughts and prayers during this time of need. Thank you guys for always being here to listen and talk to me. I've known some of you guys for years now and you're like another family to me. I'll try and keep this up to date as we get more info.
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#2
Wow, hope he pulls thru.
we all will have to take care of our parents at sometime.

Hope he gets better and you guys figure it out.
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#3
he will be in our thought and pray for the best
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#4
So awful to hear man.. lucky you guys found him! God bless your family
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#5
Was at the hospital all day today. Talked to one of the doctors and to a social worker but PT never came in to do an assessment. It sounds like they're going to want to discharge him to a SNF (skilled nursing facility) until he gets healthier and regains his strength. Predictably, he doesn't want to do this. We also have to figure out his ins. situation because he is no longer covered under the ins. he had w/ his employer and Medicare needs to be notified that they are now primary. Qualifying for Medicaid doesn't seem too likely, I think his owning a home is going to be an issue there. Ashley and I decided to go back to work tomorrow and then take Wednesday off because that's the day they're expecting him to discharge. Trying to figure out what the hell the plan of attack is...don't really feel like we made as much progress towards that as I'd have liked to. Just trying to be there for my wife and do as much as I can to take some of the strain off her at this point.

Thanks for the kind words, guys Smile
Jackie-O Wrote:My house is home to the illusive, yet powerful, Nom Noms. He will eat your babbys. His eyes are like laser beams, his claws are sharp talons. He slaps like a pimp and makes dogs run in fear.
Your resident smartass mod.
4 Doors FTW

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#6
I hope for the best, I'm sorry to hear about the situation that you are in but I hope for a good outcome.
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#7
Thanks, bud. We're working hard to try and find a solution that will work. Went back to work today since he wasn't supposed to discharge tomorrow, which felt good because everyone told me how bad it was Monday w/o me and how they were glad to have me back to keep things in order today.

PT finally came by today, apparently Gary (Ashley's dad) wasn't able to get out of bed and stand on his own. He got to the edge of the bed but couldn't get out. According to the social worker and Ashley's brother, his speech was worse today than yesterday and he's still not eating. They switched him from insulin injections to pills but he was unable to swallow them so they had to crush them up and put them in his food. They've moved his discharge date back to Friday at the earliest now. Honestly, this is a blessing to us because it gives us more time to get his ins. benefits set up and to apply for Medicaid and VA benefits as well as trying to figure out what rehab facility to discharge him to and talk to them about getting him set up for that. I'm trying to keep as realistic a view as possible on all this right now, feels like all it's just a lose-lose position that we're in right now and we have to find the answer that is the least painful.
Jackie-O Wrote:My house is home to the illusive, yet powerful, Nom Noms. He will eat your babbys. His eyes are like laser beams, his claws are sharp talons. He slaps like a pimp and makes dogs run in fear.
Your resident smartass mod.
4 Doors FTW

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#8
Man, that's rough. Definitely keeping y'all in my prayers. Hopefully you can find a solution that works out for everyone.
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#9
This is truely a bad time for u and ur family. You'll will be in my families thoughts and prayers.

I've heard that dealing with VA is like pulling teeth and usually take 10x longer then what it should for them to reply or come to a decision. I have back problems and i'm dreading on dealing with the once i'm done with the military.
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#10
Just been reading this for a couple days now and still have honestly no idea what to say man. I was actually thinking about your situation this morning while lying in bed. Your family will be in my prayers.
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