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Prayers for Ashley's dad
#11
Thanks, guys. I haven't heard too much so far today. Ashley is trying to figure out the VA and Medicaid stuff and struggling with both. I know Medicaid is a PITA to deal w/ since I spend all day talking to insurance companies and doctors/hospitals. I don't normally see much VA stuff so I have very little experience there. What stresses me out the most is watching the pressure Ashley puts herself under trying to solve her dad's problems...there's only so much she can do and she puts it all on her shoulders to figure it out because no one else can really be relied on to do it. Anything I can do, I will do, but that doesn't mean much right now.

I appreciate your thoughts and prayers, I don't really know what to say at this point either. I feel like I'm not even able to think about what's going on w/ my dad and his kidney cancer and potential lung cancer because all my time is being taken up w/ trying to figure out what's going to happen for her dad. Just a lot of stress...good thing I don't have much hair left to lose I guess.
Jackie-O Wrote:My house is home to the illusive, yet powerful, Nom Noms. He will eat your babbys. His eyes are like laser beams, his claws are sharp talons. He slaps like a pimp and makes dogs run in fear.
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#12
Slight update: Ashley's dad was discharged yesterday and we moved him to a Skilled Nursing Facility a couple minutes away from our house. It seems pretty nice, very clean and the staff were all friendly. Medicare will cover up to 20 days at this place at 100% which gives us a little breathing room to figure out his ins. benefits and what the plan is after he is released from rehab. He will be going through physical and speech therapy 5 days/week and has to participate in order to be able to stay there.

Before we left the hospital, the doctor informed us that they determined Gary has had multiple, mini-strokes (TIAs - Transient Ischemic Attacks) which have affected his brain's ability to function. He has now developed vascular dementia which I did some reading on today. Basically, the restriction of blood flow to his brain caused by the strokes are altering his brain and causing several issues. Examples would be uncontrolled crying, difficulty planning, inability to pay attention, confusion/disorientation, etc. Unfortunately, what I've read indicates that most people don't live more than 3 years past the start of these symptoms.

At this point, it feels like we're just treading water trying to figure out where to swim to. Ashley's brother has acted like he might be willing to let their dad live w/ him for a while. His apartment has steps when you first enter but, once you get upstairs, everything is on that level. Our house is 2 stories w/ the bedrooms upstairs and the living space downstairs...this just doesn't seem like it will work for Gary since he is having so much trouble walking and is very weak. If we can get him approved for VA or Medicaid benefits then there is a good chance we can find a facility that he might be able stay at. It seems less and less likely that he will be able to stay on his own - both from a cognitive ability standpoint and a financial standpoint. Hopefully we'll make some more progress this week and have a plan in place before he's ready to discharge...
Jackie-O Wrote:My house is home to the illusive, yet powerful, Nom Noms. He will eat your babbys. His eyes are like laser beams, his claws are sharp talons. He slaps like a pimp and makes dogs run in fear.
Your resident smartass mod.
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#13
update: we visited her dad on Sunday and he seemed to be doing much better. he was eating food and talking fairly well and was able to get up on his own to use the bathroom. then, yesterday, Ashley went to see him and he was back to using hand gestures instead of talking and wasn't eating. PT also said that he refused therapy on Monday. We talked to the friend he's been renting his apt. from and she wants him out of the apt by the end of August...so now we REALLY have to find a long term solution for where he's going to stay after he gets out of the facility he's in now. feeling very stressed and powerless right now, I can only imagine how much more stressful it is for my wife. Sad
Jackie-O Wrote:My house is home to the illusive, yet powerful, Nom Noms. He will eat your babbys. His eyes are like laser beams, his claws are sharp talons. He slaps like a pimp and makes dogs run in fear.
Your resident smartass mod.
4 Doors FTW

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#14
Visited Ashley's dad yesterday, he was in pretty good spirits. For the first time, he actually said he'd like to stay in an assisted living facility similar to where he is now. We got paperwork Sat. saying his Medicaid was approved, but we have to call and talk to them about some of the details. Also met up w/ a friend's dad who is going to try and help us out w/ the VA benefits he might be eligible for. The facility he is in now expects to discharge him at the end of the month and says he's made a lot of progress. He still has several issues to work on and living on his own is not a good choice. He will be staying w/ Ashley's brother for a little bit until we can figure out how his benefits work and find an assisted living facility for him to move in to.

We need to go down to his house out by the Lake of the Ozarks to get to work on cleaning out all the stuff from there and getting the stuff and the house sold. That's the top-most priority after finding him a place to live. That would free up some finances and make everything a little less stressful. It's going to be a couple weeks before we can get down there because we have a lot going on but hopefully we can make some quick progress down there so it can be ready for sale before the end of the year. Things are moving in the right direction though, not as quickly as we might like but you take what you can get. Thanks for all the kind words/thoughts! Smile
Jackie-O Wrote:My house is home to the illusive, yet powerful, Nom Noms. He will eat your babbys. His eyes are like laser beams, his claws are sharp talons. He slaps like a pimp and makes dogs run in fear.
Your resident smartass mod.
4 Doors FTW

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#15
So does he own like a lake house and rents an apt?
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#16
Long story short - out of nowhere he bought a restaurant out by the Lake, several hours away from everyone. This was right after we started dating. He then bought a house and moved out there, didn't pay taxes on the business and lost the business. He still has the house, just barely. He had moved back to KC and was renting an apt from a friend.
Jackie-O Wrote:My house is home to the illusive, yet powerful, Nom Noms. He will eat your babbys. His eyes are like laser beams, his claws are sharp talons. He slaps like a pimp and makes dogs run in fear.
Your resident smartass mod.
4 Doors FTW

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#17
Dave, how is your father-in-law doing?
Romans 3:23
English Standard Version (ESV)

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
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#18
He seems to be doing pretty well, he's staying w/ Ashley's brother for now. He seems pretty lucid most the time, he can be kind of hard to understand but if you sit and listen it's not too bad. Ashley and I have been making the 3 hour drive down to her dad's old house to sort through everything - we have to figure out what to keep, sell and donate so we can clear out the house and get it put up for sale. Once that is finally taken care of we should be able to find him an Assisted Living facility to move in to...but even with his Medicaid and VA benefits we can't afford to pay for a home until we sell a lot of his stuff.
Jackie-O Wrote:My house is home to the illusive, yet powerful, Nom Noms. He will eat your babbys. His eyes are like laser beams, his claws are sharp talons. He slaps like a pimp and makes dogs run in fear.
Your resident smartass mod.
4 Doors FTW

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#19
what's up Dave hope everything work out for you and your family that's a lot to handle

my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
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